Breastfeeding, Formula and Pumping…the story of feeding SJP

Breast feeding is hard, emotionally and physically. I knew for the moment I found out I was pregnant that I was going to breast feed for at least 8 month. I read all about ways to establish good milk supply, how to pump and save it so baby won’t ever have to have formula. I bought storage bags, and a pump. I had this dream that she would never have to have formula.

Then SJP came and she latched so well, but cried for 2 weeks straight. She was a tiny bit tongue tied, but it didn’t affect her feedings and latching. But after 2 weeks of nonstop crying and 1 ½ hour nursing sessions I called a lactation consultant.  Babies who are breast feed lose 10% of their birth weight, but gain it back in 2 weeks. SJP wasn’t even close to birth weight… she lost 12% of her birth weight and stayed there…I was starving my baby girl on accident. I was only making ½ an oz. total, on both sides. I was devastated!! But how do you know that you are not making enough? I did everything they told me to do and I was failing!! I cried a lot in those first 2 weeks. I cried a lot after those first 2 weeks.

 I met with my lactation consultant 3 times a week for 4 more weeks. I started supplementing with 2 oz. of formula after every feeding and pumping after every feeding. I started taking 3 Fenugreek pills 3 times a day and took a prescription that was supposed to increase supply. After a month SJP was finally at her birth weight!! But still… 6 weeks later I was up to an oz. total. I was still devastated, they tell you it will be so easy, your body makes what baby needs, but it’s not always true.  I was still meeting with my lactation coach once a week and meeting with a breast feeding support group. The women in my group were amazing. Most have issues with over supply (I was jealous) some have problems with baby not taking a bottle when they go back to work and some the baby just won’t take the boob.

So here I am 10 weeks after the amazing birth of SJP and I still don’t make enough breast milk to feed her just off of me. Has it gone up? Yes…but with A LOT of work. I take 2 oz. of Goats Rue 3 times per day, 3 pills of Fenugreek 3 times per day and Reglan for 5 days once a month. I still feed her from me (I finally make around 1 ½ to 2 oz. on both sides combined) then I give her 2 oz. of formula (or the little bit of milk I manage to pump a day (around3 ½ oz./day) and I pump. This is EVERY feeding, every 2-3 hours during the day. I will never get to freeze breast milk, or save up for “date nights” there are weeks we still struggle with weight, and I cry when I am told she only gained 2 oz. or that that week she gained 12 oz.  Could I give up and just feed her formula? Yes. But I refuse to give up.

I love that I get to feed SJP, then the Hubs gets to feed her as well. We both get that bonding time with her. We are lucky that she has taken both the breast and the bottle from 2 weeks. It is nice that if I am in a hurry or somewhere where I can’t breast feed I can give a bottle and not feel bad.

So when you ask if I breast feed and I say “yes, but that I have to supplement”. Don’t give me a hard time, don’t tell me to quit, don’t tell me to drink more water, don’t tell me to eat more calories, don’t tell me I am too timid, don’t tell me that I am not trying hard enough! I do more for these little girls eating then people who only breastfeed and people who exclusively pump and people who only feed formula COMBINED!  

Keep in mind that breastfeeding does not come naturally for everybody. If you have issues get with a lactation consultant or your doctor. If you think that there is something wrong, ask!

UPDATE: 2/10/14 

SJP is currently 5 1/2 months old, and I must admit...it never got easier. I still breastfeed, formula feed and pump. Sadly my supply has gotten worse over the last few weeks. SJP has decided that rice cereal, prunes and the bottle are less work than breast feeding and is slowly weaning herself. I am trying to make it to just past 6 months with her, but I think this May be our last week.